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[19 Jul 2010|02:17am]
shama lama ding dong.
2 comments|post comment

[19 Jan 2009|10:46pm]
I feel down deep inside that I might miss old George Bush....

...wait, no, it was just gas.
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[24 Jul 2008|03:45pm]
Dear Dolly Parton,

Thank you for existing. You make me happy.


2 comments|post comment

[18 Jul 2008|10:04am]
I have an interview on monday for a job I really really really want. Think good thoughts for me!!
7 comments|post comment

[06 Apr 2008|07:42pm]
have you ever woke up and felt like your life is totally fucked? I did, and actually it's not so bad.
1 comment|post comment

who knew...lol [22 Sep 2007|05:16pm]

You are The Fool

The Fool is the card of infinite possibilities. The bag on the staff indicates that he has all he need to do or be anything he wants, he has only to stop and unpack. He is on his way to a brand new beginning. But the card carries a little bark of warning as well. Stop daydreaming and fantasising and watch your step, lest you fall and end up looking the fool.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

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what the...? [03 Sep 2007|07:56pm]
Hey all!!

For those of you I didn't get to tell in person...

Philip and I are engaged.

holy crap :-) :-) :-) :-)
8 comments|post comment

update on my life for anyone who may care [03 May 2007|08:48pm]
Hey all...life is very different.

random info:

-living with Philip in very cool apartment. it is going very well. i never really thought I would love someone like I do him. he's a really good person. i can tell he's happy when i walk into the room. it makes me feel very wanted and loved. sometimes i feel like a lot of things in the world are dog shit. but more often than that i feel that all is not/never lost.

-i've recently lost someone very important to me. on february 1st my uncle ron suffered a bleeding brain aneurysm and multiple strokes came after. from february 1st until he passed away april 2nd he lay in a hospital bed virtually unresponsive. never have i experienced true pain like I did during that time. i still feel like he's here and feel i will never accept that he's really gone. if it hurts this bad everyday I can't imagine what the holidays will bring. I fear the death of my parents more than ever. i was lucky to have philip during this time. i've tried to tell him, but am not sure if he'll ever know.

-started first 'real' job at Humana. it is okay. good money. it is corporate and all that jazz. i really like all my co-workers a lot. it makes me feel like I'm back in high school or something sometimes. there's a lot of characters there.

-Bella is doing well. she graduates pre-school tomorrow. she's says i'm her best friend and we have a club called 'girls team' that only she and I are in. it's fun. sometimes I get a little crazy. and I mean that in the best way possible. i love her and I'm still learning all that kid stuff. it's really overwhelming and hard sometimes.

so yeah all that stuff happening at once. 2007 has been a crazy year and it's only may!

I'm in metamorphosis i think.
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[08 Mar 2007|06:39pm]
"You've got young legs."

I used that expression the other day.

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oh boy, this one's a doosy. [29 Jan 2007|06:42pm]
[ mood | worried ]

Philip and I are considering moving in together. Sure, I thought he was going to be able to stay where he is until he finished school, but no. Because of bullshit that he and I can't control. He has to get a place and wants me to move in. I want to. I mean we're together all the time anyway. We're both confident where the relationship is going. It just pisses me off...I feel like other people are placing pressure on the relationship and should mind their own fucking business.

I told my mother about said moving in plan. I expected her to shit a brick. and she did. She says I'm missing out on my only chance to be really independent. What the fuck does that mean. No one is independent. Even if I got my "own place" I'd still have to have a roommate. I'd still have to freaking answer to another person. I was sort of excited earlier when all this was happening. Now I just have my mother's voice in my head talking about regretting or missing out on something. I know. I've thought about that. I've spent my entire life worried I was going to miss out on something. I've wasted a lot of time constantly worried about every fucking decision I make. Here's the catch: all that time I was supposed to be living...I was worrying.

I hate having people constantly placing doubt in my head. I'm not mad at my mom. really I'm not...she brings up good points and she loves me. I'm just tired. Tired of worrying and thinking over and over again what's going to happen, creating different scenarios in head about the way things "should be"- it never turns out that way. I'm plagued with daydreams of how things are going to be and should be. I'm not living in reality. Maybe I need to work on making my actual reality good. Live in the now instead of what may be.

My life so far hasn't been what I thought it'd be. I'm tired for feeling down on myself for what I have done. It's good stuff...really, my life has been good. I sometimes feel like my head is sabotaging my happiness.

My worst fear is waking up one day when I'm old and feeling like I spent my entire life up in my room daydreaming and talking to myself and creating a life in my head that isn't real. and then realizing that I have no time left.

I just needed to get some of that out.

7 comments|post comment

Horray! [08 Dec 2006|12:32pm]
[ mood | excited ]

I'm officially an aunt now!!!!

Happy Birthday Zach!!!

Zachary Matthew
10lbs, 6oz He's a Big Boy!!
22 1/2 inches.

Woohoo!!!:-) :-) :-) :-) :-)

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[25 Nov 2006|12:26am]
So I worked today at Dillard's. It's supposed to be "Black Friday" and all that stupid bullshit.

Here's the thing...NO ONE was there. I didn't sell a thing. NOTHING. ALL DAY. 12-9pm. I wanted to shoot myself from being so freaking bored. Employees outnumbered customers like easily 2-1. It was bad. The rest of the mall was crazy packed with shoppers. Our store was DEAD. It was so bizzare. I wish it was crazy busy cause it makes time fly.

I'm sorry readers- I needed to vent a little cause today was THE LONGEST DAY OF RETAIL MINDFUCK BORING ASS LOOK-LIKE-YOUR-BUSY SHIT IN THE HISTORY OF ALL THINGS LIVING AND HOLY. Black Friday has let me down. Straight up if things are always going to be that boring I may have to quit and start selling my services on the street corner. At least it's doing SOMETHING. Liz Claiborne can suck a cock for all I care!

In others news thankgiving was good and I hope everyone got to spend it with loved ones and friends. Philip's Birthday is tomorrow and I'm making it all special-like and it should be fun. Huzzah for Christmastime and all that crap!! :-p

He's like 'meow' and I'm like 'what?'....you know I don't speak spanish.
3 comments|post comment

[02 Oct 2006|12:54pm]
[ mood | moody ]

well, I'm officially not going to Sacramento. I'm a little bummed. and a little relieved. back to the drawing board...again.

3 comments|post comment

one moment please. [25 Sep 2006|05:34pm]

thank you.
3 comments|post comment

[22 Sep 2006|12:25am]
[ mood | annoyed ]

I can't find my Moulin Rouge DVD. I also believe I have a copy of the third Harry potter that is missing in action as well. Someone will pay dearly for this. Oh yes, there will be blood.

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dang. [13 Sep 2006|11:14am]
I'm pretty sure that I have nothing to offer anyone. My mother and father don't believe I am doing everything I can to find a job. Granted, they think I should apply to every shitty piece of dogchowder in the universe. My mother suggested maybe I needed to "leave the area." I don't want to leave. I have multiple friends that felt if they left they would be happier...maybe some are...but they're broke. I'm fucking tired of going to school. But I'd go back. I just want an employer to pay for it. I feel like I should have like a part time job to get some money or something. But it's really hard to go back to places like that when you thought you were done with them. I can't go back to Gabes. it smells funny there. the lights suck my soul straight out of my eyes. OU classes started a couple weeks ago. maybe that's what has me all depressed. I love my parents but they're starting to annoy me. so I stay out with Phil all the time. I do feel bad about hardly ever seeing them, but I get depressed around the house...it;s nothing personal. Things will be better when this passes.
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god damn me [24 Aug 2006|10:48am]
[ mood | sore ]

I have a hang over. On a Thursday. If I had a job I would not get hang overs in the middle of the week. Sure, I say "I'll never drink again," but eventually I will again. But not for a while that is....oh no not for a while. Then when I do drink I'll think "hey, no worries...you won't have a headache." I will get one and be here again....saying god damn me. I want a shower. and vegetable soup. and nap. and quiet. Woe is me.

It's a wine headache too. I don't get hangovers often but when I do they are god damn unbelievable. At least I don't feel the way I felt after the infamous "Jager night." Sweet Jesus that almost makes me feel better because what I feel now isn't a fraction of what I was dealing with that night. Okay, that does take the sting off a little.

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horray summer [06 Jul 2006|10:28am]
[ mood | determined ]

dear employers.....give me a job! In the mean time I'm going to have fun and enjoy the summer, ok? ok.

Things are.......interesting lately. yeah, interesting.

Brit- PC2 on Friday? I think it's a good idea mmmkay?!?

Back to the job searching game. bye babies!

4 comments|post comment

last night in athens... [17 Jun 2006|01:09am]
[ mood | nostalgic ]

It is my last night in Athens. I'm coming home this morning. I'm ready to get started with my life.

My time here has been really good, I'm glad I came :-)

1 comment|post comment

forget where I heard it.... [14 Jun 2006|11:30am]
[ mood | good ]

I read somewhere that living well is the best revenge.

And let's face it....I have a lot of people I need to get back at. :-p

3 comments|post comment

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